In last week’s email, I wrote more directly to you than I have in the past - I revealed that I can see who opens these emails (hi), and that this helps me feel more connected to my readers as people I’m talking to.

The Autumnal Equinox will take place on September 22, 2025, at 2:20pm EST. From an agricultural perspective, this holiday happens in the season of high harvest, when farmers are gathering their crops and preparing for winter. So, Mabon is a harvest festival! It’s a holiday of giving thanks for the harvest, knowing at this point in the season how well the growth season went.

When I was deciding what topic to write about next, People Pleasing was my only real idea. I thought I’d come up with a few more, put a poll here, and see what folks wanted to hear about. I didn’t even have to make a digital post: within days 3 people had told me, unprompted, that they were currently struggling with people pleasing. “Thanks, Universe — topic chosen,” I said.

A friend recently gave me some examples of how perfectionism looks in her daily life. Maybe you can relate:

The idea that things have to be prepared just right before I start an endeavor.
That I need to have a plan before I go to the store.
That I need to wait for a breakthrough before I can relax.
That I need to receive external validation before I go ahead with a project I'm excited about.

About a year and a half ago I found out that the extreme back pain I was experiencing came from a herniated disc, and since then I’ve been on a journey of discovering what physical aches I can change, and which limitations are part of being in this body in this lifetime. “Instead of focusing on what’s just beyond your limitations, focus on what you can do within them. This is how you discover who you are and know what paths are for you,” a trusted bodyworker told me.

I was having a conversation with a colleague and friend the other day when my friend asked me, “What would you say to a potential client who doesn’t know what they need, and thinks that they need to know before talking to you?” I arrived at an answer that brought me right back here, thinking about how perfectionism holds us back from doing what we want.

This is the season when our energy starts to wane. It's no longer the high frolicking summertime, and we naturally start to desire more quiet, more stillness, more pause. I think this can feel just as good as the high frolicking summer, because it comes after that time.

I’ve spoken to a lot of people lately about their desire to deal with their perfectionism. (Same.) Here are some common themes . . .

Recently I was talking to a new friend about why I use my particular coaching framework, which is a blend of parts work, witchcraft, and organizational support. The short answer is, these are all things I did for myself for a long time before using them to help others. Today I want to talk in particular about spellcraft, AKA ritual.

The way I think about money has changed a lot in the last few years. Some magical folks say money is an energy, but I prefer to think of it that money is a container into which we pour our energy. Like anything, it takes form and significance based on what we’re sending into it.

This morning I wrote in my journal, What is the line between seasonal depression and a temporary dip? I get seasonal depression and have since I was a teen. These days I’m trying to parse apart the nuances of it, rather than writing it off as inevitable. For example, the last few days I’ve been experiencing grief that summer is over. It’s been harder to get out of bed, and I’ve felt sad.

Here in Raleigh, the cool breeze of early autumn has already made its debut. Has it where you are? This soft shift from heat to less heat has already got everyone commenting: friends share with me their delight, their surprise, their wariness. This tells me just how much we already live our lives in relationship with the seasons. There’s more there, if you want it: support in slowing down to nature’s pace, joy in relishing each seasonal moment for what it brings.

I kind of have two hometowns. I spent the most time growing up in Carlisle, Massachusetts, a small and beautiful town with farms, a general store (but no grocery store), and a lot of woods. In the summer, my parents and I went to a town called Chilmark, Massachusetts, on the island of Martha’s Vineyard.

Three years ago, someone I trusted told me I should work with a business coach. My response was, “Pff, I don’t need that.” I had figured out how to make a website, I had multiple offerings on the website, and I did not want to pay someone else to help me with shit I could figure out on my own.

The part of my work I like best is the time I spend talking 1-1 with people and helping them solve the problems of their internal worlds. My coach (I have one too! I’ve had several, actually, and will have more, I’m sure) calls this Technician Time, the time you spend actually Doing The Job.

We’re in the height of summer, and coming up on early august. August 1 is Lúnasa, or Lammas, a holiday celebrating the first day of the harvest season. I take this metaphorically as well as literally - it’s a moment of taking stock of what we’ve grown and created throughout the year since the winter solstice. We can pause, offer thanks and a prayer for a good harvest season, and then dive into reaping the fruits we’ve planted.

This morning I was meditating on my back deck when I realized the greatest peace was coming to me through smell. The air here is thick plant aromas and humidity. I tried to identify particular smells, and the two I could were pine and rain. Mixed in were several other scents, including a valerian-like perfume whose plant I’ve never been able to identify (it’s not actually valerian).

Learning to be vulnerable happens in stages. I can think I’m being vulnerable, even say to myself “this is a vulnerable share” as I speak with a loved one, only to realize later that my mind did something incredible: it kept me from even seeing the vulnerable truth, so that I couldn’t possibly put myself at risk by speaking it aloud.

Here are a couple phrases I’ve been saying / hearing lately: “The world is on fire”, “We just have to keep going”. Makes sense; shit is really scary.

Sometimes it takes going somewhere very different, and doing something very different, to realize how Same you’ve been doing things for a while.