In last week’s email, I wrote more directly to you than I have in the past - I revealed that I can see who opens these emails (hi), and that this helps me feel more connected to my readers as people I’m talking to.

The Autumnal Equinox will take place on September 22, 2025, at 2:20pm EST. From an agricultural perspective, this holiday happens in the season of high harvest, when farmers are gathering their crops and preparing for winter. So, Mabon is a harvest festival! It’s a holiday of giving thanks for the harvest, knowing at this point in the season how well the growth season went.

One of the things I’m proudest of is how many writers workshops I’ve led. I started right out of grad school, and for three years I led workshops on Fiction 101, spooky fiction, sex in fiction, novel writing, and joyful creation.

Here’s an excerpt from my short piece on Imbolc, a holiday that will happen Feb. 1:

Imbolc marks the moment when seedlings underground begin to emerge from their shells. While the ground may remain covered with snow, and the seeds remain sheltered under soil, Imbolc marks the transition from incubation to early emergence. 

Early this fall, I started working with a client who came to me because they knew I have experience with polyamory. I was excited - they were my first client who sought me out for this particular reason, and I have a lot of knowledge around navigating the interpersonal realities of creating emotionally intimate relationships with multiple people.

“But I’m not a people pleaser anymore.”

Lol, this is literally me, and then this week in couples’ therapy we spent the whole time talking about the way I track how people respond to me and try to act in ways that please them.

Hello winter friends, from my early-2026-getting-back-to-life moment to yours. I always have the same false narrative come up this time of year. I take a break from mid-December to the new year, and every time I return, my brain goes, “You’re back to work! You should go from zero to sixty. Your days should immediately be full, and it should happen effortlessly.”

Fear and joy, abundance and lack, darkness and light—these tensions make up the moment of Yule.  The earthly quiet of this season makes it an ideal time to receive messages about ourselves and the world that can’t reach us when we’re so in motion, out and about in the summer light. 

Welcome to December, a month where many of us struggle to do less while fielding constant invitations to do more! This newsletter will get into seasonal people pleasing and offer some ways to keep your season calm, peaceful, and feeling good.

I am going to start with a bummer, but I promise I will circle it back around to “hopeful.”

When I was deciding what topic to write about next, People Pleasing was my only real idea. I thought I’d come up with a few more, put a poll here, and see what folks wanted to hear about. I didn’t even have to make a digital post: within days 3 people had told me, unprompted, that they were currently struggling with people pleasing. “Thanks, Universe — topic chosen,” I said.

A friend recently gave me some examples of how perfectionism looks in her daily life. Maybe you can relate:

The idea that things have to be prepared just right before I start an endeavor.
That I need to have a plan before I go to the store.
That I need to wait for a breakthrough before I can relax.
That I need to receive external validation before I go ahead with a project I'm excited about.

About a year and a half ago I found out that the extreme back pain I was experiencing came from a herniated disc, and since then I’ve been on a journey of discovering what physical aches I can change, and which limitations are part of being in this body in this lifetime. “Instead of focusing on what’s just beyond your limitations, focus on what you can do within them. This is how you discover who you are and know what paths are for you,” a trusted bodyworker told me.

I was having a conversation with a colleague and friend the other day when my friend asked me, “What would you say to a potential client who doesn’t know what they need, and thinks that they need to know before talking to you?” I arrived at an answer that brought me right back here, thinking about how perfectionism holds us back from doing what we want.

This is the season when our energy starts to wane. It's no longer the high frolicking summertime, and we naturally start to desire more quiet, more stillness, more pause. I think this can feel just as good as the high frolicking summer, because it comes after that time.

I’ve spoken to a lot of people lately about their desire to deal with their perfectionism. (Same.) Here are some common themes . . .

Recently I was talking to a new friend about why I use my particular coaching framework, which is a blend of parts work, witchcraft, and organizational support. The short answer is, these are all things I did for myself for a long time before using them to help others. Today I want to talk in particular about spellcraft, AKA ritual.

The way I think about money has changed a lot in the last few years. Some magical folks say money is an energy, but I prefer to think of it that money is a container into which we pour our energy. Like anything, it takes form and significance based on what we’re sending into it.

This morning I wrote in my journal, What is the line between seasonal depression and a temporary dip? I get seasonal depression and have since I was a teen. These days I’m trying to parse apart the nuances of it, rather than writing it off as inevitable. For example, the last few days I’ve been experiencing grief that summer is over. It’s been harder to get out of bed, and I’ve felt sad.

Here in Raleigh, the cool breeze of early autumn has already made its debut. Has it where you are? This soft shift from heat to less heat has already got everyone commenting: friends share with me their delight, their surprise, their wariness. This tells me just how much we already live our lives in relationship with the seasons. There’s more there, if you want it: support in slowing down to nature’s pace, joy in relishing each seasonal moment for what it brings.