Earth as Pleasure Pathway
Tomato and pea seedlings popping up in their containers in my living room. Watching seedlings grow is my current favorite high.
I’ve found myself delightedly broken out of the pattern of pushing and overwhelm that I spoke about in my blog last week.
(Oh! As I’m sitting on my porch writing this, my neighborhood barred owls are calling back and forth to each other in the loblolly pine stand across the street. They sound like this.)
Today, while driving home from doing some errands, I noticed an important distinction between two kinds of pleasure. At the time I had just bought a pair of inexpensive cute sunglasses, something I’d been considering doing for a couple weeks - I’m traveling in April and wanted something new. As I drove, I was experiencing a feeling I’ll call “Nice! I did the errand bought the cute sunglasses! I am feeling good.” But I noticed an off-ness to this feeling, a tightness like a too-tight muscle, and a weird aftertaste, like after eating a stale cracker.
I realized the feeling came from external sources: “if people could see me right now and know those things they’d think I was doing well. So I feel good.” I desired a deeper kind of “good,” so I tried a breathing technique from a meditation by Thich Nhat Hanh. It’s simply about noticing that you are breathing in and out. As I did the technique, I immediately noticed the beautiful buds growing on the trees. “The flowers are so beautiful. My heart is in line with nature,” I thought.
Having time and desire to enjoy things like the owls and the buds is the theme of my writing this week. Like a circle, knowing how it feels to connect with the earth is the tool that allows me to reconnect with it when I loose touch.
A 4 made of sticks that appeared on my front step, surrounded by decaying camellia blossoms. The number 4 in the Tarot symbolizes steadiness, stability, and structure.
Following my recent overwhelm, at the start of this week I committed hard to doing things differently day to day. I overwork on Monday, that sets the tone for the rest of the week, and I do the same every day following. Same if I do Monday more gently: it sets a precedent for prioritizing my happiness, my mental health, and myself over getting things done. It doesn’t prioritize myself over my work - they are deeply interconnected. If I am well, I do openhearted, grounded work. If I am stressed, I am not as good at my job.
I have stopped working every day at 4 this week, even when it means falling behind. I trust myself to rework my schedule the following day. Maybe I jammed two weeks of work into one week’s schedule, and I need to revise.
I have let myself break my rigid schedule expectations and run a few fun errands spontaneously. I’ve had time, while running those errands, to check in with Petra, my Money Protector (see last week’s blog for a summary of parts work therapy), when she gets worried that I’m spending to much, so I can hear her out and figure out if she’s right - and figure out what support she needs if I disagree with her.
Self care could be described as a cyclical process of:
Recognizing we’re not doing so hot
Understanding why
Making shifts and caring for our weary parts
Feeling better and moving forward
We can only do this if we have the presence of mind and spirit to do so. My Patreon is a collection of practices that I’ve gathered for myself to cultivate that presence.
Leaning into the energy of the season regrounds me. The earth never rushes or pushes: the earth doesn’t have internalized capitalism. It is our best guide to living, but its wisdom is most helpful when translated into tangible tools. That’s what I write, read, and meditate about over on Patreon.
xox
Isabel
Village Witch’s Corner
My intention this week :
To thoroughly enjoy each day.
Question I'm asking this week:
Can it wait til tomorrow? Why not? Is that more important than my wellness?
What I’m listening to:
This week I’ve been listening to the silence in the mornings. My brain has felt like it’s needed room to let things fall out of it, rather than putting more in.
Tiny Spell of the Week:
