Imperfectly Caring for Our Bodies
This is my death altar, a small shelf I like to adorn around Halloween time with pictures of loved ones who’ve passed. It helps me feel the thinness of the veil and gives me perspective on being part of something bigger than myself.
Muscle and Bone
About a year and a half ago I found out that the extreme back pain I was experiencing came from a herniated disc, and since then I’ve been on a journey of discovering what physical aches I can change, and which limitations are part of being in this body in this lifetime. “Instead of focusing on what’s just beyond your limitations, focus on what you can do within them. This is how you discover who you are and know what paths are for you,” a trusted bodyworker told me.
I love this idea of caring for and enjoying the body I have. There are things I’ve discovered I can’t do, and sure, that’s discouraging: I can’t run anymore, I will never hike long backpacking distances, and anything that involves impact on sturdy joints is out for me.
But there’s a lot I can do within my limitations: I can do aerial silks in a style I’ve developed that’s inspired by my body’s preferences, I can hike decently long distances without training hard, and I find more flexibility in my body through yoga and breath work all the time.
Nothing’s perfect, and also we can be in a relationship of care and expansion with what we have.
Skin
Everyone has a six step skin-care routine now, and I find that overwhelming. Ok, it’s not everyone, but the podcast ads and TikToks and drug store displays I come across suggest that there is A Lot To Do and I should be doing it.
Soapbox time: Corporations count on our insecurity in our ability to care for ourselves to sell us the things they tell us are essential. For about two years I held off on any skincare routine beyond “wash face” and “moisturize face” because I didn’t want to end up at the mercy of the idea that my skincare routine could always be more perfect.
A friend recommended trying no soap, in general. This helped me a lot: I stopped stripping my skin of oil and then replacing it with lotion. I got less dry and itchy. (I am an inherently dry and itchy person.) I listened to my body more and we had a good conversation.
For a while I just washed my face with water and a washcloth. I knew this was deeply imperfect but it felt better than giving in to my fear in an over-lit Target aisle.
A friend connected me with Julie, the creator and body care witch (my words) behind Flower Cloud Beauty. Flower Cloud makes a range of different skincare products that are cruelty-free and vegan as well as rooted in science, not trends.
This felt good to me. Better products than any I was finding through pressure-y marketing, minus the marketing: the dream. I am tired of being tug-of-warred this way and that by “new and better than the last one” products. I wanted to find a source run by people who shared my values (Julie will tell you which makeup companies support genocide against Palestine, for example) that I could keep using indefinitely. And that wouldn’t dry out my skin.
I’m here to uplift Julie’s creations because they are the best ones I’ve found on a number of levels: ethical, sustainable, gentle, for-my-specific-skin. They’re about caring for the body, not perfecting it. Some things I buy from them:
Toner with white tea and lactic acid
Face cleanser with rosemary extract
A light moisturizer made from seeds (yay)
Lip gloss made with plum seed oil
Eye liner (no seeds in this one but I trust Julie’s ingredient philosophy)
Sun damage repairing serum made with white tea and retinol
It’s pricier than the drug store but not pricier than Ulta, and the way it’s made and the philosophy behind caring for my specific body matters to me. I can usually make their products last a long time. If you are looking for skincare products, makeup, or advice on those things, Julie and Flower Cloud Beauty are who I recommend. FCB ships to you.
Left: before being on my FCB skin routine, Right: after. If you can’t tell from these imperfectly detailed iPhone photos, my skin barrier (learned what that is from Julie) is stronger, my sun spots are lessened, and my skin is less flaky. Right pic also features FCB lip gloss.
Mind
How we see and care for our bodies is all tied to the mind. Perfecting how I care for my body is not possible, but as someone with OCD I sometimes fall into the trap of believing I could, if I just pushed myself harder.
What I cyclically land on on is Good Enough. What is Good Enough care for my muscles and bones, for my skin, such that I am healthy and also can get out in the world and live my damn life?
It’s taken me years, and will take more, to find the sustainable rhythm of physical therapy, skincare, hair care, and doctor visits that allow my body to be strong and comfortable. I believe in the importance of finding a team of people who support you in the kind of body care that you like. For me, that’s my physical therapist, my Rolfer, Julie and Flower Cloud Beauty, my primary care doctor whom I love, my herbalist friends, my hair stylist, ecoslay and prose (where I get my curly hair products), and my new favorite lotion which is Alpenglow.
I am a loyal customer. If I like someone or a product I will not switch; I like to find something that works for me and stick with it as long as it continues to work. This is part of my life philosophy of living at the pace of a tree growing :P
See you here again next week for our last week on Perfectionism, where we will have story time!
xox
Isabel
Village Witch’s Corner
My intention this week :
Have a sense of humor and good work / life boundaries. Life is fun!
Question(s) I'm asking this week:
Can that wait until tomorrow? (Answer: YES it can.)
What I’m Reading:
Still reading The Cliffs, at the recommendation of my auntie.
Spell of the Week:
Watch the leaves falling.
Wheel of the year:
We’re entering the darker, cooler season - Halloween AKA Samhain has passed and we’re now in the last couple months approaching the Winter Solstice. The veil is thin, shadows worlds are available to us! To learn more about living in alignment with the seasons, sign up for my Patreon (free and paid options available).
